Being Brave & breastfeeding

I am being brave tonight. I have taken the decision to not breastfeed my son before he goes to sleep. I have been doing this almost every night for the last 22 months and 6 days.

Since he has been 13 or so months we were down to just the morning and night feeds. I took the decision to cut out all day time feeds and gradually replaced the afternoon milk feed with a cup of cows milk after he had turned one. I chose not to let my little man have mummy milk in the daytime and one the rare occasions he asked for it and said no, it only comes at morning or night. That way I could feed him in bed where it was warm too!

I was going to push onto 2 years as per WHO guidelines, however recently I've not been enjoying it at all. Little man has started calling it "mummy gig" not a problem but it just doesn't feel right anymore.

We also want to conceive another baby soon, we might even have one in there now! I have read that your milk supply stops at around 17 weeks and then starts up again. Either way I didn't want to be feeding a newborn and an almost 3 year old. I know some people do keep feeding their children beyond a new baby and well done you - I have decided that it's not for me.

So with little man's recent interest in farm animals I dug out a sippy cup he's hardly used. It was a freebie in an Ella's kitchen lunch bag I cost on special at Tesco ages ago. I warmed up some full fat cows milk in a pan (our microwave is in the shed and it's too cold to go out there) and we gave it him in his bed. Before this happened I showed him the empty cup and he can all the animal names on it, well he gives them his names anyway.

It was successful and I told little man the mummy milk had all gone and he was having special milk in his farm animal cup now.

I cried after I left his room, he fell asleep well and very quickly which helped as he wasn't screaming for "mummy milk". I don't know how I'll feel as time goes on. I remember dropping from 2 feeds a day to 1 and how my hormones went mad and I was very weepy for a few days. We will have to see, I expect engorgement will happen but all depends how the next few nights go.

I am very pro breastfeeding, I think it is a wonderful lovely thing to give your baby/child and the benefits for you and them are a great bonus. I understand that some people have problems at first and that it is not easy. Yes it hurts, your nipples will get cracked, bitten, sore, blistered but you have to brave and persevere. Get help from anyone you can if your midwife or HV isn't too great on breastfeeding as not all of them are trained in this area. I was lucky - I didn't need any help this time and next time I hope to BF again.

I am not having a go at anyone who formula fed their baby for whatever reason. Everyone makes their own choices for their own reasons.