baby envy

A friend of mine has had a baby this morning - although I am very pleased for them for some daft reason I am also jealous. This has happened whenever someone I know has had a baby after I had my baby!

I have unfortunately inherited the tendency for jealously and possessiveness from some relative somewhere - not sure why but I know it got a lot worse when my little sister arrived on the scene. Incidentally she's the only one who can really wind me up, make me extremely angry and I can't let her borrow anything of mine as it eats away at me.

It made me wonder if my baby envy is me being broody, or is being broody making me jealous of other people having babies? Do I want another baby or is society just making me think that I should have more than one as stereotypically most people have more than 1. I don't want little man to experience the same emotions if I give him a brother or sister. I was wondering if timing was the key, I was 2 years 10 months when my sister arrived and if I was to get pregnant now it would be exactly the same for little man. Maybe we should have gone for a smaller gap?? People I know with smaller gaps don't seem to have the problem but then they are different to me.

I think part of it is missing the baby phase little man grew out of so quickly, he was sitting up at 4 months, crawling at 5 and 1/2 and walking at 9 months! By his first birthday the only thing he hadn't mastered was talking and jumping. He went a bit mad running off everywhere flinging open cupboards in peoples kitchens and just didn't stop! He's never been big on day time sleeps and was also down to only one nap a day by 9 months old. I never wanted to be one of those mums who boasted about what their child could do - yet I felt like it because other babies of similar ages did not develop as quickly, he also got teeth early and had most of them by 12 months. I loved the baby phase despite the lack of sleep and sometimes frustrating crying spells and not going to sleep problems.

I need to focus on what's so wonderful about my little 2 year old, he can now talk - he started over Xmas and can now say everything! He's talking all the time. He's also doing all his number 2s on the toilet! He's beautiful and I love him to bits. He's learning to sing the bing bong song and the wheels on the bus. Maybe I won't have another - just yet anyway!!